Sailing the Starless Sea, Part 1

You're no hero.

You're a ditch digger, a beekeeper, a turnip farmer, maybe a barber, baker or candlestick maker. You've been eking out a living, saving a penny here or there for the occasional pint down at the pub. The land has been generally peaceful, life mostly uneventful, and everything is, well... kinda dull.

But now there's a big, strange new star in the sky. Old man Roberts says it's a sign, an omen. The ancient cycle of order and chaos is turning and the world just started getting wilder. For the brave, greedy, or simply not too bright, this means adventure.

Most of you will die. Or become hideously corrupted. Being sucked into some hellish outer dimension is also a distinct possibility. But some of you will survive, by hook, by crook and by sheer dumb luck. And if you survive, you'll get better, you'll get stronger, richer, and be able to afford cooler clothes. You'll become an adventurer; a warrior, a cutpurse, a heathen-slayer, a tight-lipped warlock guarding long-dead secrets. Yes, maybe even a hero.

You'll seek gold and glory, winning it with sword and spell, caked in the blood and filth of the monstrous, the dark, the demons, and more than a few of your vanquished companions. There are treasures to be won and secrets uncovered, and you shall have them.

Mostly though, you'll still die.

With this we kicked off our DCC mini campaign, starting with Harley Stroh's excellent funnel, Sailors of the Starless Sea. Unbelievably we managed to finish the entire adventure in one night, but I'll break the play report into two pieces. Spoiler warning for those that haven't played this!

The players, each with four 0-level funnel characters generated at Purple Sorcerer;

• Todd - Nerista the mercenary, Smint the blacksmith, Daniloth the elven sage, Lance the noble
• Jeremy - Draug the beekeeper, Rubin the rutabaga farmer, Ester the hunter, Bran the barber
• Trevor - Thursby the unnaturally strong halfling, Corren the trapper, Grom the indentured servent , Jenson the squire (Grom and Jenson were Lance's retinue it was determined)
• Sebastien - Four as yet to be named; a parsnip farmer, a dwarven blacksmith, a blacksmith, and an orphan
• John - Daley the incredibly strong orphan, D'tali the elven falconer, Arvin the rat catcher, Chez the gravedigger

We opened with a group of 20 pitch fork and torch bearing villagers approaching an ancient ruined keep south of the drowsy village of Lemsby. Many homesteads had been discovered empty that morning, their inhabitants taken in the night. The trail had led to these old ruins and smoke had been seen above its crumbled towers.

"Anyone bring a snack?"

On the dusty road before them stood a macabre sight of two corpses bound to a pole with spiky vines.  To everyone's horror, the corpses detached themselves and stumbled forward tendrils waving. Sensing that his great moment had arrived, Lance Darkrouge (one of Todd's characters), the only noble in the village, boldly stepped up with his grandfather's broadsword and with a rousing "Follow me peasants!" to lead the charge. His almost immediate death by throttling certainly inspired the villagers as they proceeded to pummel the vine horrors. Everyone was then rewarded with an explosive covering of pungent corpse mucus as the defeated corpses burst and spread their foul seeds.

There was a moment of reflection as Jenson the squire took his master's signet ring and with trembling lip bid them move on. They spied the silhouette of some beastly creature on the ruined wall, and hung there flapping in the breeze was a crude banner with a red flaming skull. They pressed forward and had rock and other debris flung down on them below the main gate. Uncowed they started crawling under the partially raised portcullis which was promptly dropped on them when half their number were through. Amazingly no one died, and with the aid of the unnaturally strong halfling Thursby, they pulled the old rusted gate off their companions and moved cautiously into the courtyard.

A few titterings and hootings could be heard above, but there were no more attacks. The courtyard presented a few intriguing areas. There was a massive collapsed hole in the ground that no one wanted to go near, a well with a complex looking winch system attached, a burnt out chapel of some sort barred from the outside, and a stout recently repaired door leading into the only tower still standing.

Brand the barber (who had heard that loot was often found in these sort of expeditions) decided to investigate that well, as obviously someone was using the winch to store stuff down there. He looked over the edge and a profound blackness stared right back. No loot down there he thought. Why yes there is! said a sudden thought that just popped into his head. Lots of treasure and and women too! "We must investigate the well! I'll go first!" He stated aloud and one of his companions obligingly cranked on the winch pulling a terrifying leather harness up from the depths. "This is going to go well" remarked another as Brand strapped himself in and was lowered down.

Brand's disappointment that jewels and vivacious woman were not immediately thrust upon him quickly turned to consternation as an alien wind from some far and terrifying realm of chaos began to moan about him. "Up! Up!" he yelled, and he was cranked up out of the well but not before that alien wind got in his ears. The others were dismayed to see him appear with massive elephantine ears instead of the tasteful regular ones and there were muttered comments about dropping him back in.

Pulling Brand out the others spent a few moments prodding him until more rocks were chucked down from the old battlements. Daley, an incredibly strong orphan picked up a rock and chucked it back. Against all odds his stone not only found his target crouched behind a crenellation, but killed it stone dead. Encouraged, he picked up and threw two more stones and repeated the performance twice (he rolled 3 natural 20s in a row...!). With three dead beastmen, lying crumpled in the courtyard, the emboldened would-be adventurers decided to try their luck with the barred chapel.

Bizarre chaotic inscriptions, leering gargoyles, burned out and barred from the outside, the chapel seemed to beckon the party forward. Straining as a group they hoisted the massive door bar and

"Hmm.. I'm sure it's safe in there now.."

cranked open the double doors to be met with the sight of burned ruin and charred bones beyond. All hesitated, except Brand who thought he could see a hint of gold buried in the ashes. He stepped in and was greeted by ghostly screams and a phantom blast of heat, echoing from the past. Greed quickly overrode fear however and Brand pushed forward digging in the detritus discovering a few partly melted gold coins.

The rest of the group quickly pushed their way in and discovered a few more coins, a few old maces and bits of armour which they distributed. Brand quickly proving himself to be quite the treasure hound, pulled out a solid gold brazer with runes inscribed around it. He quickly hid it under his shirt and turned to find the party peering at him and the new "growth" bulging out his side. He laughed a little laugh and pretended not to notice their stares. Also found was a box containing incense cones obviously for the brazer.

It was the glitter of gems that drew Brand's attention to the toad statue with the burning black tar oozing out its mouth into a stone bowl. He approached even though the heat became intense. A few feet away the black ooze suddenly leap from the statue's mouth and the party rushed forward to engage. Brandon's barber scissors did little other than get his fingers burnt, but Thursby the unnaturally strong halfling and Draug the beekeeper waded in with their recently found maces smacking the ooze about, sending great burning chunks off in all directions. Unfortunately Neristina the mercenary and Smint the blacksmith just happened to be in some of those directions and both were horribly burned to death (Todd's second and third funnel character - he was now down to one). Thursby and Draug felt slightly bad and the band beat a hasty exit from the chapel.

Out in the courtyard their eyes fell upon that recently repaired door to the still standing tower. There was some discussion as to who would be the one to open the door. Daninoth the not so sage elven sage (Todd's only remaining character) flatly refused to go anywhere near the door. Finally a few of the stronger types kicked it down and hurtled inside. Immediate roaring, croaking and bleating battle ensued as beast men and peasants hacked and stabbed at each other, and a towering beastman master came swinging into the fray.

The beastmen were defeated but the peasants took casualties as well. A quick check of the repellant chamber (no one was much interested in scrounging through the rotting hides strung across the floor) revealed little other than a few captives taken the previous night from the village. They were quickly released and most fled after a quick thank you. A pair of radish farmer brothers, Chester and Lester, decided to join the adventurers and seek revenge. They would accompany the party but were not yet recovered enough to fight or help out in any meaningful way. After a quick scout onto the battlements turned up nothing, the party decided to head down the stairs leading into the hill from the beastman room.

To be continued in part 2...